I’m worried that my grandson may have been hurt by his father’s negative behavior | Parenting and parenting

I am my grandmother 6 year old boy.His mother divorced his father 4 years ago due to abusive behavior. Both parents are British, but the mother and son live in the UK and the father lives in another European country.The child is in a chronic condition, meaning frequent visits to the hospital and daily dosage..

The father remains very hostile to the mother.Access is arranged by court order and the mother is very conscious What a child needs Time with his father she is trying to promote in addition to court orders.Up-to-date information on the child’s medication and his condition should be given at the time of deliveryBut this does not happen for Father’s hostility.

again, My father Always tell How good his country is for his son, and That The boy will eventually live Take over the country and his business.He is negative About things related to life in the UK.

The child is quite confused and anxious because he wants to please his father, but he is emotionally very connected to his mother and settled down at school... A court order on child access states that “neither parent should injure the other in front of the child,” but this does not make sense because it always comes from the father...

Me Worries that the child is at risk of psychological and / or other problems if the father continues to undermine the boy’s safety, trust and trust in his mother, home, wider family, school, and life in general... As far as I know, there is nothing I can do to change this negative behavior from my father. The child and the father clearly love each other, So [helping the situation] May be positive..

In your letter you didn’t say whether you were a maternal grandmother or a paternal grandmother, but I think you are the former. It was also unclear how much you would see your grandchildren, as your influence and love are key here. I contacted psychotherapy.org.uk, a psychotherapist who pointed out that you were right. Neither parent should look down on the other or cause alienation of the parent.

I also spoke with Karen Dovaston, a family attorney who is the interim chairman of the Family Law Committee of the Law Association. She said you [court] Minutes “You will not know what was discussed and agreed in court, and court documents are confidential and should not be viewed. She also said that actions such as demanding changes to court orders must be taken through her mother (ideally) or her father. If your grandson’s mother thinks there is a problem and wants to change the court order (keeping in mind that contact cannot be less than what the order stipulates, but it does not have to be exceeded), she You will need to reapply to the court.

It is important to get the evidence here. An abusive text message, medical evidence that the drug has not been taken, or a sense of parental alienation. If you raise these issues to your mother, the mother does not want to act, and your child appears to be physically / emotionally at risk, your only means is to order your child through court. Is to apply for permission to ask for. In other words, your child will live with you. Alternatively, you can report the situation to a social welfare agency that may determine that protection has failed. I’m convinced that you don’t need to point out that you need to perform these steps only if your child seems to be in serious danger.

Is there anyone in this that you can talk to to play some sort of intermediary? Do you have anything to do with your dad? Practice reflective listening with your mother and let her talk about what she feels is her choice, rather than telling her mother what to do.

Addis also wanted to ask if your grandchildren’s school was warned, so they can monitor changes in his behavior. She also recommended spending time with your grandchildren to provide a safe place for them to talk freely with you (but children are protecting their parents at this age). Don’t ask the main question as it feels). That’s why I asked how much you see him, as you can get a good balance with your dad if you need to.

Every week, Annalisa Barbieri works on family-related issues sent by readers. If Annalisa needs advice on a family issue, please submit the issue to ask.annalisa@theguardian.com. She regrets Annalisa that she can’t make personal communications. Her submissions are subject to our Terms of Service.

Comments on this article have been pre-moderated to leave discussions on the topics raised by the article. Please note that the comments displayed on the site may be slightly delayed.

Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri, Series 2 are available here.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.